President Bush Unveils PuppetBox™

Coral Gables, FL - Last night, President Bush revealed IBM's newest innovation: the PuppetBox™. Called the "next wave in corporate management," the PuppetBox™ is designed to control the actions of employees via nanotechnology. When attached to the spine of a worker, the PuppetBox™ sends nanobots through the spinal column and into the worker's brain. Once there, the nanobots overtake the worker's thoughts and replace them with preprogrammed data.

In an unprecedented move, President Bush halted the debate with his Democratic rival, John Kerry, to showcase the new product. Midway through the debate, Mr. Bush turned to moderator Jim Lehrer and said, "Hey, Jimmy, guess what. Y'know all this stuff I've been sayin'? Yeah, well, it's all because of this thing on my back." At which point, he spun 180˚ and pointed to the PuppetBox™ on his back. "It's called the PuppetBox," the President said, turning back around to face the audience, "and it's made by the good folks over at IBM. It marks a turning point in corporate business: no longer do corporations have to worry about employee productivity, because with this little device, employees no longer have control over their actions. As a matter of fact, everything I've said tonight has been preprogrammed by IBM." A glazed look came over the President's eyes. "Buy more computers!" Chuckling, he added, "See?"

Though it is too early to tell what impact the PuppetBox™ will have on global business, many analysts predict a giant boom within the year. When asked for comment, one WTO official replied, "I think I need a tissue."